http://twitter.com/kyat officially twitfaggin :3c

Song lyrics are hard to come up with~

I can't focus it seems.

I want to finish my other deco mirrors, but my hands aren't steady enough! I always tend to work on things when I am upset or angry, and this leads to more frustration.

I need to calm down~

I dont think AX is going to happen. I'm short far too much money and with the hours I'm getting at work it's probably not a good financial move to just drop hundreds of dollars.

Ah.. im heartbroken.

Besides this

Ive realized every opportunity I had that was "too good to be true" really was.

So I was looking at my clay and stuff the other day, and kind of wondered.. "why bother"

There are so many girls who make the same exact type of stuff (Some of them even blatantly copying some of my ideas..), should I even put the effort into making things that probably wont sell?

I'm sure there are some people who would *like* the things I make, but its so much easier to find things that are cheaper that are essentially the same. Nothing of mine is special I guess, but the talents I have are so few and far in between that I'm not even sure what to do.

As time passes, I'm growing closer to the conclusion that I wont be able to go to AX. And that just.. boy it makes me really sad! I'm still trying to find commission work, but that isn't really fairing so well either.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure the deal with ExcaliburGirls just wont be happening anymore.

I think maybe this was just a pipe dream that I should just let go of. Making myself a marketable name seems to be falling apart completely. I really envy my friends who have been able to promote themselves and make themselves marketable, it's truly amazing.

Beautiful.

Quite possibly the greatest show ever honestly.

If you aren't a fan, you should be.

So I did some really simple sketches for my would-be calendar, but it's so hard to find a decent print shop that doesn't either A) have a quantity limit (usually around 200) or B) Cost more than $15 to print.

I always feel awkward selling things for too much. Even though I'll be devoting a lot of time to drawing these things, Charging more than $20 (or hell, even 20 seems way too much) for a CALENDAR is a little bonkers to me. The one site i found for fairly cheap is also extremely poor quality, at least from review sites.

Maybe I should work on stickers or maybe some themed cards (Birthday, just cause, etc). Those aren't usually a lot to print, and I would like to hope would sell pretty decently!

Anywho, here are the sketches of the calendar.

No cuts for you~

Spent 6 hours on this sucker 8)

I finished a commission today. it makes me happy, also makes me want to do more! Problem with taking random commissions is that I cant work with my favorite subject (lolitas, of course). I mean, how can you hate drawing adorable frilly dressed things?

Anyways I drew this for basiik, and boy was she a perfect person to commission me. She essentially gave me the go ahead to draw anything, and it really helped in the creativity section.

When I draw for myself, I always get really bored and unmotivated after a while. Drawing things for other people when they have super-strict requests is easy to create, but not very fun creatively.



SO now I'm really back into drawing. Michaels is still fucking me out of hours so I am going to set aside a good few hours for drawing and hopefully getting more commissions. I doubt all of them will be as fun to do as this one, but I can hope!

I also stiiiiiilllllll want a website but, again, the whole money thing is an issue. So I'll hold off for a while. DA is doing me some good, so I wont complain much :3

Later~

Im watching MTV and there is some doc on these girls who are preggers




I dont want childen
oh god
no thanks
STOP IT AGH

left4dead is so fantastic, It's too bad I can't play it. My PC cant handle it and my laptop sure as hell cant either.

BUT ITS SO LOVELY SHOOTING ZOMBIES IS SO FUN.

My laptop can barely run it, once a horde hits it's all down hill from there. But even then that 24 hour trial was fun. I was always curious as to what the gameplay was like.

maybe if i ever get a new computer (yeah, right).

if you havent seen it already

Awesome

I really want this stupid Meta lucky pack skirt. Why is everyone trying to sell it for far more than it's worth? God damn it girls, you paid 130 bux for the pack, a single piece from it shouldn't be $60. I guess I'll keep my eyes open for it. I hope Meta does another lucky pack SOON, I'll be buying it this time for reals!

I teamed up with some pals on GAIAONLINE to promote some art, hopefully this will mean more REAL LIFE commissions. I do have a couple I am still working on as well, I don't know why I'm so suddenly back into all of this!

I do want to try to draw some non-cutesy stuff. But I was never good at that junk, but practice makes perfect I guess. There are some artists I see and I am completely blown away, and it makes me angry that I can't do what they can (of course, talent and style vary so much, I can't blame anyone). Although, a lot of people look at the rot-your-teeth work I do and say they couldn't be able to do it. hahah

Off to play some games, work out, and draw.

<3

My legs are killing me ;~; lots of work yesterday!

I am getting my hair cut on saturday. I'm thinking of trying to get it styled like the pink wig i bought, but I think my hair is a bit too thin for that. I'll have to show a picture to Tanya and see what she thinks. I'm pretty excited!

I want to do some crazy colors as well.. (okay not so crazy) but a different dye job with some sort of mix of colors. I dunno, I'll think about it. It's a little too expensive for all of that right now. Tanya always gives us a deal because she's friends with my sister, but there's only so much of a 'deal' she can give you for lots of work like a dye job.

PS, FOR THOSE WHO HAVENT SEEN MY WIG:




Pure awesome. Love this thing a little too much.

I'm actually excited to work out and cook today. I'm not sure why.

This girl I've known for ages (my moms friends daughter) is getting married. It's weird because we are pretty much the same age, and I couldn't imagine being married right now. I'm happy for her but, I dunno, seems like her lively years are going to be weighted with so much more.

There was another girl who is younger than me who got engaged. She went "home" (macedonia) to get hooked up with some guy. She likes him, but god damn you're like 19. You can wait a few years to get married and see if you really want to be with him for the rest of your life. Silly girl. Silly traditions.

Anyway. I hope the weather gets better. I want to go out and drive and finally get that damn license. But it's been raining every time my mom gets a chance to do stuff with me, and she doesn't want me driving in crazy conditions when I'm just learning.

Also, I've been looking up some really good, healthy recipes. Tonight Sam and I are going to be doing stuff and working out and I offered to cook. I found this really awesome recipe for a chicken sammich and a great salad (Also, green beans for myself~~) I gotta do some more searching for some stuff. I'm pretty decent with baking so I'm going to try to grow those skills into cooking main dishes and stuff.

Anyway, off to work~

I kind of love Jerry Springers final thought in every show.
What a smart jew.

Out of sight out of mind is so true for some people.